Life as we know it isn’t perfect, I think we can all agree with this. This reality can leave us feeling emotionally drained and depressed throughout the day. It’s a common experience, and often, it stems from a combination of factors like routines gone awry, uncontrollable thoughts, and external pressures. In this blog post, we’ll explore the various aspects of daily depression and delve into the scientific aspects of how hormonal fluctuations can affect mental health, especially in men. A focus on men is on purpose as historically we are told as boys to hold in our feelings and just to get past them when we express feelings of anxiety or depression and I feel due to all of this suppression has built up since it has been left untreated for all of this time, through childhood into adulthood where it surfaces the most since responsibilities increase.

When Plans Don’t Go as Planned

One of the most common triggers for daily depression is when our carefully laid-out plans are disrupted. For myself I have a very routine day, waking up at a set time every morning, working out, meditating, getting some breakfast, and coffee, and then I get to work. If anything delays any of these or takes them out of my day then I am off balance and I feel my attitude shift. For others I am certain this occurs but it could also be a missed deadline at work, a traffic jam during your morning commute, or unexpected chores piling up at home, these disruptions can take a toll on your emotional well-being. When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to spiral into feelings of frustration and hopelessness. I believe since many of us have these routines or we experience these experiences we have to plan for these possibilities of delays. One solution could be to plan a block of time later in the day where these missed items could be done at that time just in case this was missed. If that time is not used because everything goes according to plan then we can use that time to continue to get some work done, relax, get some gaming in, or whatever the case may be but since it is planned we can feel better since that is now part of our new routine.

Uncontrollable Thoughts

Another contributor to daily depression is our tendency to dwell on things we can’t control. Oh, the monkey brain… It’s natural for our minds to wander, but sometimes we fixate on worries or concerns that are beyond our influence. These thoughts can become intrusive, leading to a sense of helplessness and despair. It is easier said than done but we truly have to practice this mindset that if it is seriously something we are unable to control then we should not put time and energy into the issue at hand. I have been in situations where an urgent matter at work came up and it was not part of my responsibility but I still was dwelling on the issue and I was refreshing my email in hopes a response would come through for the emails sent to the responsible parties would come into my inbox. I would then call and text those people and continue to do so until I got a response. Looking back on those stressful times as this occurred a number of times and of those times everything worked out in the end but my panicking over the situation did not make it happen any faster. We just have to do our part and then leave it up to the universe to make everything else work itself out. So if I was to redo those situations again I would do the following: Tell the person who notified me that I will do my best to reach out to the responsible parties and keep them posted on when I do hear back, but also to tell that person that if they also get a call to have them reach back to me that the problem has been resolved. I would then send an email explaining the situation, call, and text, only once, the correct people, and then notify the person who reached out that I did what I did. Then I have to allow people to do their jobs and not put so much pressure on myself as I can not control the actions of others no matter what I do, especially when it isn’t in my role to do so. So I hope this story went through a situation you have also been through in the past so you can correct your future actions as well and not step into other people’s roles and bring unnecessary pressure onto yourself.

The Search for Purpose

Feeling like you’re working without a true purpose can be incredibly disheartening. Whether it’s due to dissatisfaction with your current job or the daunting prospect of job hunting if you are trying to leave a current role or if you are unemployed at the moment, this feeling can exacerbate daily depression. I have been a business owner for over 20 years and when I started my business I was 18 years old I was so involved with my local market and was super excited about every win or so concerned with every little failure. As you get more used to these activities it tends to feel more like work and as the years go by you are just moving through the motions. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy all of the wins and the failures are also important lessons learned so I value them as well it isn’t the same as the beginning, but that is true with everything, isn’t it? I think we have to know this and be okay with it and almost have a mantra of sorts before we start our work day or even daily life about why we are doing what we are doing and to remind ourselves that we are actually doing this for a larger purpose. I like to remind myself that I run my own business so I can provide my family with a proper plan for their future if that is the path they would want to take but more so to allow musicians and creators to do this as their main source of income and to provide happiness through their creations/productions. In my professional corporate side of things, I was always in the service industry so the fact I was allowing people to get through their workday without technical issues always made me get through the day as I was actually making an impact in someone’s life. Even if you are doing database entry work, and I have been there so I can talk on this, your work is indeed valuable as it allows people to get through their workday faster due to your organization skills and methods on how to segment the information you put into a number of these electronic systems so don’t feel like you are wasting away doing this work. We have to find purpose in our work as humans as we don’t do well as a species when we are just doing things just to fill up time, we need purpose or our brains go to mush.

External Pressures

Life is filled with many external pressures. For parents, dealing with misbehaving children can be emotionally taxing. Life is troubling enough and then you have a little person yelling at you or not doing what they are told. Then because of this daily pressure we boil over and then we scream and yell and then after that episode, we feel even worse because we failed to be the cool, calm, and collective adult. Similarly, having a spouse who doesn’t understand the challenges of your day can add to the emotional burden. As men our partners might have been brought up the same way we explained in the intro, just to move on, get on with it, get over it type of thoughts when it comes to anxiety and depression. So we don’t have anyone to talk this through with so we go internal and have more inner discussions with ourselves that are not helpful at all. We could also have supportive people who live with us but we don’t want to bother people with our at times petty issues as everyone is going through their own stuff. I do feel we do need to have more discussions though about our dark feelings as they do indeed bring the light onto these situations and feelings. If someone in your household isn’t being supportive you need to navigate through that to explain that you do not appreciate it and to find a way there can be more peace in the house because it isn’t making your day-to-day easier and you will just get more trapped.

The Scientific Perspective

Understanding the scientific aspects of daily depression can shed light on why it might be more prevalent in certain individuals, such as men. Hormonal fluctuations can play a significant role. Men, like women, experience hormonal changes throughout the day. Testosterone, in particular, can influence mood. Low testosterone levels have been associated with symptoms of depression and anxiety in men. If you read the content of the link below it states that all along we have been thinking women are the moody ones when men are even more affected by hormones than women are. Our “mood swings” happen on a 24 cycle so every day is our time of the month haha. Also what is interesting as well since I am a productivity nerd if gives advice on how to break up your day given our testosterone levels which affect our mood and energy so check it out.

Men Master Your Hormones.

Coping Strategies

To manage daily depression, it’s crucial to develop coping strategies because there just isn’t a cure for everyone.

1. Mindfulness and Self-awareness: Recognize when you’re feeling down and identify the triggers. This self-awareness can help you better manage your emotions. This is super important. Stressors in life are actually our own problems. If someone comes up to us and punches us in the face it would be up to us to react or we could just stand there and do nothing. This is a bad example but I am putting this here on purpose as our body would want us to fight or run away as we are under attack but if we had true mind control we could just stand there and not react. So again an extreme but let’s just say your trigger is someone who eats with their mouth open, a popular one that I know annoys the hell out of me. When I hear it I note that it is just a sound in the world and it is up to me whether I would like to correct it or not, usually, this is my son forgetting how to eat so I do correct him when it is really loud or constant but if it is a smack of the lips or two I let it slide and I know it is something that triggers me so I let it be when I am in control of my mind on a good day. So mindfulness absolutely allows you to get to know yourself more intimately because meditation is you with yourself focusing on your breath or a mantra and sitting for long periods. Same with a yoga practice you are putting yourself in odd positions and focusing on your breathing especially as you hold those poses for long periods of time. This is all hard at first but once you get used to anything other things in life become easier as you learn to be with yourself. Depression and anxiety are all about being more comfortable with ourselves as it is ourselves that are reacting badly to outside stressors out in the world. Our boss could piss us off by saying something inappropriate but it is how we react to that statement or email that gives power to it. This takes work, a lot of work but the best day to start is today.

2. Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your feelings. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help if needed. If you are going dark fast you need to beef up your support system. We don’t want to lose anyone to self-harm or even lose someone due to them not being themselves anymore or to their highest potential because of not having the tools available to them to know their triggers and know how to go to battle with them. So build your support system and keep in touch. People naturally want to help so ask for the help and if you notice a friend of yours or a family member is giving off vibes that they are turning towards symptoms of depression or anxiety try to help by letting them know they are loved and they can come to you for anything without any judgment but again you have to mean it.

3. Flexible Mindset: Embrace the unpredictability of life. Instead of dwelling on disruptions, focus on adaptability and problem-solving. Once you fix one issue or learn how to get used to one trigger the next step is to find more out about yourself and take away the power it has over you and before you know it you are the master of your own mind, no longer does your brain hold the puppet strings.

4. Purpose-Seeking: Explore your passions and interests outside of work. Finding purpose beyond your career can alleviate feelings of emptiness. In my work journey, I have always done this with my agency work since most of my life I always had a corporate job so I would use my agency work as an escape to get away from all of the structure and policies of the corporate world. Now at the moment being out of the corporate space, I don’t have many hobbies so this is something I am improving on by getting more into focusing on my health by exercising more, diversifying my agency into different areas of the entertainment world so I can learn new skills and other things like that. However, if you don’t have a side hustle like I do then this could look like anything that brings excitement into your day whether you like to tinker or play video games or sports with friends or just spend time with your kids and get them interested in things outside of their stuff they do that we believe is nonsense. As I said before we all need purpose and we need to be useful, without those two things what really are we…

5. Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep. These three things are really what regulates everything according to science and I mean you can fight science all day but it’ll always win. You have to make time for exercise and make it something you will actually do and something you can do at home if you are someone who is really busy because when you have deadlines coming up you don’t have 2 or 3 hours to go to a gym. I do yoga and resistance band exercises for strength training and then for my cardio, I bike on a road bike that is hooked up to an indoor trainer. Then plan your meals so you don’t go and just grab the easy thing to heat up as most of that stuff is processed foods and that’ll kill you in time plus your microbiome does not respond well to that crap, it needs good nutrients to react well, it is after all your other brain. Then sleep is what some scientists say is the most important thing of all so just do what they say around that and know your body around this, 7 or 8 hrs a night – some can do 6 hrs and be fine but any less than that and your pushing it.

In conclusion, daily depression is a common struggle, influenced by a range of factors. Understanding the role of hormonal fluctuations and societal pressures, particularly in men, can help us tackle this issue more effectively. By adopting coping strategies and seeking support, we can navigate life’s ups and downs with greater resilience and emotional well-being.

Links:

Check Out My Substack – a lot of the same, just there